Today I chose to torture myself and go another round with one of my most bitter enemies...the salad bar. No, not the kind with a sneeze guard, you know, ala Ryan's or some other disgusting place like that where they serve more fried things with mayonnaise than actual vegetables. Oh wait...this one did have a sneeze guard. But, it was at Whole Foods, so it wasn't a regular sneeze guard: it was organic, vegan, PBA-free and completely biodegradable.
One thing the sneeze guard wasn't though was helpful. Really, I'm going to have to start taking my own food scale with me to the salad bar. Who knew that you could spend so much $ on salad?! The salad is $8.99/lb. and I tried soooooo hard to stay around the $9.50 mark but blast if the darn thing wasn't $12.20. Really Mr. Electronic Scale? R-e-a-l-l-y? This isn't my first time at the rodeo. I don't get lots of tomatoes. They're pretty but heavy little buggers. Lycopene needs liposuction! I don't get broccoli or lots of beans or anything like that that not only hikes up the weight but also inevitably gets stuck in my teeth. I don't rest my purse in the salad bowl and then weigh it...urg! How can hearts of romaine, minor amounts of red onions, green onions, green peas, edamame, chicken, croûtons (my favorite of course), a sprinkling of cheese and dressing cost so much?
It's bad enough that I have to stand in the check out line at Whole Foods without the reusable grocery bag (I ALWAYS leave it at home; Tie's resorted to using them as a lunch box, a bat-bag and a clothing duffel), without some disgusting vegetable juicer thing and without the overbearing smell of petchuli. But to also suffer the mortification of attempting to be healthy and Whole Foods-y with a salad that cost $12.20? Riiiiiiight. Those four little numbers further announce to the hipsters that I just can't cut it in the world of homeopathic remedies, cold-pressed extra virgin olive oil from protected tree-farms and vegan chocolate java cookies.
I guess I'm going to have to start counting peas and croûtons. I'd much rather pretend to be considering terriayki or curry tofu whilst actually counting each pea than continue to suffer the "Stick to Kroger" eye rolls or "That's what she gets for not buying the limited edition organic feed sack reusable bag" sneers I get when checking out. Or maybe someone would like to be my personal salad-shopper? Any takers?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
That's it. We're going to Five Guys next time!
ReplyDeleteha - i got dinner for andy and me yesterday at whole foods; one salad box, one "hot" food box. it was $23 for both. ridiculous. we could have just gone out for dinner...oh well.
ReplyDeletealso...the customers at your whole foods seem different than at mine. all the shoppers at the one i go to are in work clothes and ties. they all look like preps rather than "hippies" or "hipsters." but then again, it is clarendon. see below for reference: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4T1RMuoQnKo
ReplyDelete