Work to live...

At the risk of alienating the prospective venture capitalist that's only interested in the back-of-the-toilet-set prose, I think I'm about to venture into some weighty waters.

For some reason, the concept of value, I guess, personal value has come up several times throughout my day today. I got an e-mail out of the blue from a former co-worker recommending me for interviews for legislative positions that are opening up in the state senate. From January to May of 2004, I served as the legislative intern for the Senate Speaker Pro Tempore. The legislative member that holds the Pro Temp. position is essentially third in line to be governor in TN, should the need arise. She was an important lady. She worked really hard. But, she always thought she was right, that her ideas were superior and had priority over those of her constituents. I firmly believe that politicians should be public servants, working to carry out the will of the people that elect them. She wasn't that kind of politician. In fact, that kind doesn't exist anymore, unfortunately.

Anyway, the point is that when I got the e-mail about the interviews, my stomach did flips. I'm a high school history teacher at a great school with great students teaching advanced classes. I left my embryonic political/legal career in the dust 3 years ago. When I have bad days (generally several in a row, which isn't that frequent), I regret not going to law school or not getting a public policy degree. But, aside from these moments, I'm very happy with the career path I've chosen. I know that I still have options, in terms of where I teach and what I do with my teaching experience.

So, I spent awhile trying to figure out why in the world I would feel anxious/excited about this e-mail. The person that sent it to me is a lobbyist for the law firm I used to work at. She complemented me in her e-mail and I guess those complements were the basis for her interest in getting me interviewed. However, she is a lobbyist so, the complements certainly had a political objective (although I'm not politically significant in the least). After some contemplation and for considering (only for a nanosecond) having a movie moment and quitting teaching and charging back into the political arena (you know, this is the stuff that Hallmark movies are made of, right? just throw an addiction or some kind of warped relationship anyway), I discovered that my excitement came from the complements this person gave me.

Which brings me back to the issue of value. The e-mail caused me to contemplate my value in terms of my career. I do this on a regular basis. Nearly daily. I think it's natural to do that to some degree. In addition to this natural inclination, both my parents have very strong work ethics and taught me that my work ethic was a measure of my character. I do believe this. However, it's not a measure of my value as a person. Neither is the condition of my body (I'm trying to improve it) or how many times I smile at strangers or how often I try to not judge others (again, trying to improve) or how much money I save. My value comes from God. He valued me enough to sacrifice His son for me and me alone. Nothing I can ever do will be more valuable than that love he has for me. I guess in light of the improvements I feel very determined to make, this realization has shifted my determination from doing these things to improve my value to doing these things because there's no reason not to. I've felt a weight lifted off my shoulders to achieve these goals because they reflect on my value as a person. The pressure is off to earn my value. It was already earned for me with the blood of my Savior. The opportunities I have now to make improvements are opportunities to fulfill my role in His kingdom.

Actually maintaining this line of thinking and prayer long enough to come to any kind of conclusion is an improvement in and of itself! Go team!